Early Childhood Attachment and Verbal First Aid
August 11, 2010 | 
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In response to an article entitled "Early Childhood Attachment: Building A Safe Haven for Your Child" (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/judith-acosta-lisw-cht/early-childhood-attachmen_b_673357.html), one reader shared this story. With his permission, I'm sharing it here with you. It is a brave man who made the move he did and an even wiser woman who listened and acted well.
“How we respond determines how they respond. And not only in that moment, but for the future.”
Dear Jude,
I remember a situation 20 years ago… After a developmental psych class, my wife took me mall shopping where I sat, waiting…watching… like guys did. A woman approached; mid-twenties, spoils of shopping in one hand; a 4-5 year old boy’s hand in the other, being pulled faster than short legs wanted, whining laced with “mommy, I’m thirsty!” Neither was very happy!
Either a perceived injustice, or my natural tendency to spend my two cents whenever possible, prodded me to approach her and say, “Looks like ya’ll had a tiring day. If you take a couple of minutes, sit on a bench, hold him and tell him you are thirsty too and you’ll be home soon where you both can get a drink. I guarantee you both will feel better. Just try it.” I smiled, turned and walked away.
Eyes wide, she never said a word. I entered a store and watched from a window, and experienced a most satisfying moment… sitting on the bench, they both were laughing.
Sometimes I fantasize that he has kids, and when they get irritated from fear or frustration, instead of getting upset with them, he calms down, sits down, and brings them down to a happier place… It’s just my fantasy.
Thanks for the thoughts!
Lawson Meadows
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