Words are Medicine

In a radio interview this past weekend with Mimi Stoneburner at KTIP-AM, we got to the topic of dogs as we discussed Verbal First Aid. We were on the topic of leadership and how Verbal First Aid helps parents develop rapport so they can give their children therapeutic suggestion to help them stay calm and heal faster.

She understood. She said, "It sounds like you're talking about Cesar Milan's way of handling dogs."

I was so excited. "YES! It's a form of kid-whispering but with a very specific intended outcome–healing."

I thought about her comment and this idea of kid-whispering all day and then suddenly remembered an article I'd written when I first started rescuing dogs back in the 90's. I didn't get puppies that were easily trained or could be sent to puppy class for simple socialization. They were big, hurt, and aggressive. And my learning curve was steep. I had to get it fast or lose them.

So, I learned.

And I compiled the following ideas back then to help the parents and kids I was working with at the local school system. This article was probably written several years ago. 

This is it:

Leading With Love. What Training My Dogs Taught Me About Working With Children.

I’d just finished a particularly grueling two-hour session with a family and an 8-year-old boy who was defiant, angry and acting out with abandon. Everyone was frustrated—the parents, the children, the teachers. And by the end of the session, so was I. I left the school and went outside to sit by the ball field and clear my head. I’m missing something, I thought when I noticed a young man with a large dog in the corner of the field. The dog would sit, wait, then with a single hand motion from the young man, jump and sit down again. That dog’s eyes never left the young man as he waited for his next cue. That’s it. That’s the look in that child’s eyes…Tell me what to do. Teach me how to do it. I’m clueless. And no one was teaching him. All we were doing was talking about everything that he was doing wrong and asking him to come up with a solution.

From that point on, I was on a mission. I rescued two large dogs—both willful, strong, and quirky—and set myself to training them. What I’ve learned from them has forever changed my work and helped countless families. What it requires of us to train dogs are the same qualities we need to be effective parents.

For the full article, please see Huffingtonpost.com. You can either search under my name or in the archives.

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