Attachment and Verbal First Aid for Children
May 25, 2010 | 
Author Verbal First Aid as an Attachment Aid
Babies come into the world crying, cooing and clinging. They need—food, warmth, love, and safety.
They are born with the innate capacity to feel fully, scream for us, hold onto us.
They are born with the potential to develop and think.
But they are not born with the ability to feel and think at the same time.
That is what we—as grown-ups, parents, caretakers—are there to teach them to do.
This is a formidable task, hopefully made easier with Verbal First Aid.
When kids are left to their own devices—or worse, are taught they are unloved and are made to feel unsafe—they do not develop normally. And that holds true in both the cognitive and emotional arenas.
At a Christian Counseling Convention, Gary Sibcy, in exploring the effect of the emotional environment on development, talked about a study that was done with monkeys. Interestingly, monkeys have the gene for alcoholism though it remains dormant unless activated.
Not only are our relationships important in the moment in terms of how we make others “feel,” but as the research is leading us to conclude, it is pivotal in our development on every level—mental, emotional, and genetic. What we say and do with others matters in ways we are only just beginning to appreciate.
The Verbal First Aid Relationship
According to many experts in the field of interpersonal neurobiology, there are certain types of relationships that are healing, nurturing and developmentally pivotal. They can even help a child who has been repeatedly abused and hurt to rewire those learnings so he can go on to have good relationships in his life.
In Verbal First Aid with children, there are three essential principles that are utilized to both facilitate physical healing in the moment as well as long-term wellness and proper development:
- Recognizing The Healing Zone
- Developing and Utilizing Rapport: Centering and the ABC’s of Rapport
- Leadership: Healing Suggestion
For the full article, please go to http://www.opednews.com/articles/Verbal-First-Aid-and-Attac-by-Judith-Acosta-100629-216.html
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Talking and cooing to the infants and even to the unborn ones in the womb, can go a long way in soothing and calming them. They have an innate capability to recognize mother's voice and her feel. Just hand over an infant to a stranger, and see the ruckus he creates. He'll immediately calm down once he's back in his mother's lap.
Thank you, Ruby. You are so right. There's a study about stories that were read to babies in utero and not only do they prefer the mother's voice, but they prefer the original story read to them in exactly the way their mothers did.
Babies know.